I really must update this blog more often – it’s not that he’s stopped saying entertaining things, it’s more a case of me being tired and overworked. But a conversation earlier this evening definitely merits a post…
We had been talking about various things Minecraft-related, and when I happened to mention one of the new developments since Microsoft bought out Mojang, Little A got very thoughtful, with that characteristic hatching-a-lot expression, and then said “Sabotabby’s going to want to make another comic…”
“She is? Why?”
“Because I think I’m going to have to do something about those Windows people!”
“Microsoft? Er — what did you have in mind?”
“Well, first I’m going to get them to play Minecraft with me, but I’ll put lava right under their spawn point, so that they’ll fall in and die, and then as soon as they respawn they’ll fall right in again, over and over! It’ll be like an endless cycle of death!”
“Unless they get smart and jump forward as soon as they spawn in,” I couldn’t help but add.
“No, I already thought of that!” he replied. Because of course he did. “The lava will be surrounded by a giant pit full of hissing creepers!”
“Well, OK, that would probably do it,” I agreed. “Although I have to say, just trolling them in Minecraft is perhaps not quite as inspired as your plans for Nestlé…” (the inspiration for the comic previously drawn by Sabotabby, which will make it onto this site eventually).
“I haven’t even gotten to the good part yet! You see, that was just a distraction!”
“Yes! Because it won’t really be me they’re playing Minecraft with, it’ll be someone else who’s pretending to be me! While I hack into their building’s security systems, and turn them all on the people who actually work there!”
“OK, that’s getting a little more creative…”
“And — there will be a robot—”
“I knew there going to be robots in this somewhere. Giant ones?”
“No, a special robot that will sneak in while they’re distracted by all the security stuff, and hypnotize them all, and then start flashing all kinds of lights and blasting the Nyan Cat music, and will make them all start square dancing!”
“All right, now we’re definitely getting into comic book territory!”
“And — there will also be grizzly bears chasing them around! And biting them on the butt! And lasers shooting at their feet from…” He pauses, like he’s trying to remember something, and I recall that earlier we were trying out a Minecraft mod that among other things, added grizzly bears and Arctic foxes to the game.
“Arctic foxes?” I suggest. “The other animal from that camping mod?”
“Yes! Arctic foxes shooting lasers from their eyes! And the lights and the music and all of it will just keep going forever so that they’ll have to square dance for all eternity!!!”
He got so enthusiastic during this last part that he ended up shouting the last bit, and then finishing with a truly impressive supervillain cackle.
And once I was able to stop laughing, I said “All eternity — or at least until they agree to have Pocket Edition of Minecraft integrate with the computer version on Mac and Linux computers as well as on Windows?”
“Oh!” He sounded surprised enough that I was fairly certain he’d forgotten what initially prompted the whole idea. “Um, yeah, I guess so.”